It's good to have a really good moan!!! Have you heard of the 'Day of Moaning' that was recently declared in England? What a concept, we all like to have a good moan from time to time.But we should be wary….Moaning, complaining and criticising is like worry…Circular.
I remember years ago being told that the solution to worry is to examine the “what if” and plan strategies for each of them. The “what if” is what worry is all about, what if the worse happens, what if?
Believe it or not I was a Youth Aid cop many years ago in a different life. It was the end of my career path and one of the most enjoyable times I spent as a cop in New Zealand.
Part of my job often involved dealing with parents who really loved their children and were worried sick about what would or could happen to them as a consequence of what ever was going on in their lives at the time. It was really hard to deal with until a very smart psychologist pointed out to me that worry was just the circular expression of “what if” without ending, without ever moving toward the solution for the “what if”.
Using this I learnt an incredible lesson in solution based thinking and how it not only gets things done, rather than just worrying. It also creates peace of mind and plans that build a future success plan.
Using this, I would get parents that were worried out of their minds, to create a plan for every “what if” they could think of…Create solutions for each and then a plan that would move them forward from that solution to a point that they wanted their children to be at. We focussed on ensuring that they were achievable and realistic, that they were SMART as in Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timely.
These parents' worry used to disappear and in its place, suddenly they found purpose and a plan to create the future they wanted with their kids. All of this from nothing more than solution based thinking. A thought process under their control, even though often, at that time, their children were not.
So on the auspicious 'Day of Moaning' (apparently?) I challenge you to use problems, “what ifs” and issues merely as leaping off points into “what’s the solution”, "how do we get there?" and “what’s the plan!?”.
Maybe it will bring you both peace of mind and good futures.